Dead Babies

"Want to see a picture of my dead daughter?" was the first thing my office-mate said to me one day.

I don't know what to say to a question like that.  I don't think I said anything.  He showed me the picture.

When my wife and I had our first child, a daughter, the doctor said, "You skipped the grave."  He explained:  Fifty years ago that's what our parents' and grandparents' generation called successful childbirth without the death of mother or child, "skipping the grave."  We are grateful we skipped the grave.

No one had ever told me how dangerous life, marriage and babies are.

March 26th, 2010:

My wife's best friend just lost her baby.  Most of the young couples we know have struggled with miscarriages.  Among our peers, about half of the recently married eager breeders have seen at least one early pregnancy dissolve.  Usually within the first trimester, sometimes in the second.

This recent tragedy, my wife's friend, lost her baby that was due to be born next month.  Nearly full term, nursery fully decorated, their first girl after two boys.  Lost.  One day she was nervous because she hadn't felt much movement.  She laid on a couch, took water and rested.  Still no motion.  The whole pregnancy she had felt only light and faint movements, like a butterfly.  Her mother babysat her boys while she and her husband went in to see if the hospital sonogram could reassure them about their butterfly baby.  It did not.  They delivered a lifeless child the next day.

March 8th, 2011:

Nearly one year later and my wife's friend is a nervous wreck.  She is with child again, in the third trimester and due around the first anniversary of her third child's still birth.